Let’s Fucking Read is a podcast in which I find terrible, soul-crushing, or just badly written things on the internet, and then read them to you, the listener, in a soothing, pleasant voice, as if reading an infant a bedtime story.

If something you’ve written ends up being read here, it probably means you are a terrible writer, a bigot, a sexual predator, or just otherwise a horrible person.

If you are an author, blogger, or other writer who finds your work recited here, and would like the offending episode removed, we do have a content removal policy. To take advantage of it, please follow these simple steps:

1: Insert the end of a three-foot length of quarter inch vinyl tubing into your rectum.

2: Insert the other end into your right nostril.

3: Fart.

4: Inhale deeply.

5: Repeat steps 1-4 until you lose consciousness, or until you accidentally poop in your own sinus cavity.

6: Punch yourself repeatedly in the genitals.

Thank you, and enjoy.


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