Let’s Fucking Read! with NuclearJesus EPISODE 13: Animal Attraction at BEASTFORUM!

{UPDATE: YouTube, in their “infinite wisdom,” have seen fit to remove the video version of this episode, claiming it violates their terms of use regarding Nudity and Sexual Content. Assholes. The MP3 is still available for download and streaming.}

Today, I read some lovely testimonials from the internet’s largest group of animal lovers. And by “animal lovers,” I mean “people who fuck animals.” That’s right, I read from Beastforum.com! With over ONE MILLION registered members, Beastforum reminds us that the human race on a whole is just FUCKED.

Also, thanks to this podcast. . .I’m fairly certain my search history has put me on at least six government watchlists. So. . .you’re welcome.

Let’s Fucking Read! with NuclearJesus EPISODE 12: Everybody Poops!

The internet is a shitty place. Today, I explore the world of scat fetishists, and immediately swear off guacamole.

 

Let’s Fucking Read! with NuclearJesus EPISODE 11: Holy Shit, It’s JUGGALO SLASH!

Today, I read a charming bit of fanfiction, in which Violent J and Shaggy 2 Dope of Insane Clown Posse suck each other’s dicks.

Wait. . .I thought this was supposed to be fan FICTION. . .

 

Let’s Fucking Read! with NuclearJesus EPISODE 10: STAR TREK MPREG

Today, I read two stories from ArchiveOfOurOwn.org, in which male characters from Star Trek do the gay, and give each other the preggers!

. . .the fuck is wrong with people. . .

Let’s Fucking Read! with NuclearJesus EPISODE 9: The Chimpout Chronicles

Today, I read more racist garbage, this time, from Chimpout.com. This site claims that African Americans are a subhuman species, and therefore, the members aren’t technically racist.

If I need to point out that this podcast contains objectionable material, you’re a fucking retard.

 

Let’s Fucking Read! with NuclearJesus EPISODE 8: Muppet Mayhem on Sesame Street

In tonight’s episode, I read a dark bit of Sesame Street fanfiction, entitled Banished.

 

Let’s Fucking Read! with NuclearJesus EPISODE 7: The Gift That Keeps On Giving

Within the gay community lies a small subculture of people that willingly give AIDS to willing partners. The flip side of this coin is a group that secretly gives AIDS to people for a sexual thrill. While it should be noted that the latter is a minority, they do still exist. In this installment, I read the exploits of one such scumbag, and am creeped out beyond all recognition.

The internet is a dark, fucked up place. I read it, so you don’t have to!

 

Let’s Fucking Read! with NuclearJesus EPISODE 6: Walking Dead Rule 34

In this installment, I hold back on the brain bleach long enough to get through a rather torrid bit of Walking Dead slash, featuring Rick and Daryl. Now, I have nothing against slash fic. . .provided it’s well written, and nobody is orally sodomized with the barrel of a gun. Since I can say NEITHER THING about this piece. . .well, suffice to say that, by the end of it, I longed for Michonne’s katana to end my suffering.

 

Let’s Fucking Read! with NuclearJesus EPISODE 5: Horrible Rugrats Fanfiction

Ever wonder what happened to Tommy Pickles from Nickelodeon’s RUGRATS as he entered adulthood? ME EITHER! But apparently, one “writer” at Fanfiction.net wondered just that, and has graced us with this GEM of a story, in which our hero gets drunk and gets blowjobs from strippers.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I need brain bleach.

 

Let’s Fucking Read! with NuclearJesus EPISODE 4: White Supremacist Poetry Time

Today, a bit of poetry, courtesy the Nazi fuckheads at Stormfront.org!